WHAT’S NON-JUDGEMENTAL?!
If you’ve never been listened to without the other person making judgements as you talk, you may not know what I mean when I say my counselling and coaching is non-judgmental.
Because often that’s what our conversations look like: the other person waiting their turn to talk, and thinking of that while you talk. Deciding if you come out well or badly in your story. Or if your child was naughty, or if you should parent differently. It often comes down to good / bad, right / wrong.
In our confidential parent support sessions, I’m not here to judge anything you say. Not you, not your partner, not your ex, not your child, not even your mother-in-law ;)
I listen with 100% of my attention, curiously, kindly, without interrupting (save for the odd zoom glitch).
If it’s a coaching session, I’ll suggest techniques that might be more useful, productive. [NOT right or better! You’ll likely be telling yourself that already, but you get to practice non-judgement too…] I’ll encourage you to parent in ways that help you get where you say you want to go (more calm, less frustration, for example).
I’ll invite you to try new approaches, play around, be experimental, get evidence of what works, be flexible, model what you want your child to learn.
You’re their parent, you know your child best and want the most for them. You get to decide what to change.
In a dialogue counselling session, I won’t suggest a thing! I’ll simply ask you questions, based on what you say, so you can identify your feelings, actions and beliefs, and if you want, change a belief that was holding you back, (then what you do and feel also changes).
Perhaps you’re blessed with friends or family who you feel 100% accepted by. Most of us have heaps of experiences where we felt judged, not enough. This includes our own inner self talk when we’re quick to judge ourselves as well, or talk ourselves down.
When you experience complete acceptance, maybe for the first time, you know what you’re going for in accepting your child. When we’re tired, frustrated and at the end of our tether, it’s impossible to convey that love and acceptance we had for them when we first held them, when we see them sleeping, or in sweet, connected moments. Their bond with us, as well as our influence, are strengthened by the quality of our connection, them feeling accepted, at least by us. They’re less likely to get total acceptance at school from a teacher with 29 other pupils in the mix.
If acceptance is something you’d like to work on with me, or it simply sounds tempting to be accepted for who you are, book yourself a 20 minute call here.